Billboard stars

After Adison was born the hospital asked Ryan and I if we would pose for a picture  for a billboard that they were doing.  I told them yes and then they said they wanted to have Adison in it and have it look like we had just had her.   I had to laugh because she was six months old at the time and her head was large and there was no way she was going to hold still like a newborn and make pictures work of them.  So they said to come anyway and they would just use a baby doll.   It was so funny, and weird to do these pictures.   If I only looked this put together after I have a baby that would be  something huh.

It is always a cool experience to have a baby and each time I have a baby I feel so much better after I see them and they are alright.  I have been thinking a lot about if we are going to have another baby, or if we are done, and that is one of the hardest choices I have ever had to think about.  When I was pregnant and feeling so huge and sick and miserable I was 100 percent sure I was never going to do that again, and even for the first few months when he was not letting us sleep and I still felt so miserable I was for sure I was done.  But now that it is all in the past and things have gotten better when I think about it the answer is not no….  It would be so fun to have two little boys and a little brother for Max to play with and have as a friend forever.  But I am not sure I ever really want to feel pregnant again.  The thought of getting pregnant again just makes me feel sick.  But I am still now sure.  I wish there was some way to know when you were done for sure, and not just for selfish reasons.  Everyone has told me that you just know when you are done, and I have to say that is not true what so ever for me.  Because if I wanted to be done there is so many reasons I would be done, but they are all for the wrong reasons.  But if I pray about it and really ask God if I should have more children I think the answer would always be yes.  That is the reason we are on this earth is to multiply and find joy in families.  So I guess I will still pray and think about it and I hope that we will know soon what we need to do.