Memories

 I was going through my closet and found some great old pictures.  I am missing Ryan more than words can even say.  So I thought I would write down some memories and feelings.  The picture above is from when I made a trip out to Kalamazoo Michigan to get my engagement ring and get our invitation pictures taken.  I was setting out the things I thought I would wear for pictures and the next thing I knew Ryan came out wearing it.... Chase was out with me so I told him to hurry and get the camera and he grabbed me to cover him up so we couldn't get the picture.  He is so funny, and not afraid to be a goofball.  He has tried on all sorts of great outfits to get a good laugh out of me or other family members. 

 This picture was taken right after I got my beautiful ring.  I ruined the real proposal that Ryan had planned because I wouldn't go to bed and kept hinting that I wanted it.  He had a great one planned out about going down to this cute park that had a lake and a gazebo and get there really early when the sun was coming up and he would play his guitar for me and sing..... but instead he got down on one knee wile I was brushing my teeth and said all the right words and was so romantic until I jumped on him and said yes.  I was way to excited!!!  But for me it was all perfect.  We joked around about telling everyone the real proposal he had planned, but I like the real one just as much!!!

 Chase took this right after I finally got my ring!!!

This picture is a funny one because I am a horrible driver on a scooter... I was just pulling it out of the gate and my shirt got caught on the door and it ripped my jacket and pulled me off and I had a little crash.  I loved our little scooter.  Ryan ended up painting it black and putting some cool Bronco football (WMU) stickers on it.  It was stolen out of our back yard once and off our front porch once and then once while we were out of town.  We got it back each time and one of the times we didn't even know it was missing until the police came and told us they had found it.  When we left on of the football coaches that loved the scooter offered to buy it from Ryan and so we sold it.   Now I wish we would have kept it for our girls to have and see. 

 Our landlady had a pool that we were able to swim in at anytime.  We were having a little to much fun with the camera this day. 

 Ryan was caught doing the baywatch head shake.

Look at those muscles.  After all these years he has managed to keep his drop dead gorgeous body and stay in shape.  I don't know if he is just very blessed with that kind of genetics or what but that is another thing I love about him.  He has always looked his very best for me.  I know I have had a lot of UP'S and not as many downs on my weight because of having four babies and seven pregnancy all together.... but he is my main reason that I want to look good.  He has always done that for me and is just sooooooooo good looking I need to try and keep up with him as much as I can! 
It has almost been two full months that I have not been able to be with Ryan and it is NOT fun.  I am so sick of it and can  not wait for this to be over.  I am not good at being alone and I realize how much I depend on Ryan for everything I do.  He is the best father for our girls and such a great husband.  I love him and miss him so much it kind hurts my insides.  He is the best friend I have ever had and my soul mate!!!!  I love you and miss you honey