Sunday, April 8, 2012

blah

I am having a day where I feel like I am the worst mom in the world. We had a great Easter and everything so it isn't that. I am sitting here listening to my kids while they are trying to sleep. Brytlee is coughing out a lunge it sounds like and right before bed she asked me to put vicks on her and I said, "why.... you don't have a cough?"
And a couple days ago she told me her belly hurt so I told her she needed to eat something or go potty. Then about half a hour later as we were at a yard sale she opened the door to the car and started to barf....
Adison is in her crib whimpering and making sad little sounds because she has been sick as a dog today and does not feel well at all...... her temp earlier today was 103.6 and it is a Sunday and we were out of infant Tylenol. I was in luck and had a friend that had some on hand and she let us have some. It helped alot and brought her temp down. I am not sure if I go and check on her or just keep letting her sleep through it...... I hate not knowing if they are ok or wondering if there is something really wrong with them. I keep having so many what if's running through my head and wondering if I need to take her to the ER because it could be something serious.
Sometimes being a mom is just crazy. I know that when I pictured this job I never once thought about being thrown up on like crazy twice in one day..... or not being able to sleep.... and never being able to put makeup on or do your hair...... or not even being able to put pants on because you can't put your kid down.
It is so crazy how much you worry and care for your kids when you are a parent. I am so in love with these little tiny humans it is just not possible to even describe the way I feel. Even though today was one of the worst days that Adison has ever had, it was so nice to hold her and cuddle her and be the one that she wanted to make her feel better. She slept in my arms for most of the day and I really enjoyed watching her sleep and rubbing her back. She looked so peaceful while she slept and being able to hold her like that made her feel like my little baby again. It really isn't fair how fast she is growing up.
A couple of times today Adison really wanted to eat and she would look at me and say, mmmmm, and how can you not give a girl whatever she wants when she looks and sounds so cute. That is how Adison asks for food whenever she wants something. MMMmmmmMMMM (the big m's are low pitch and the small m's are high pitch).
Another reason I am feeling like a bad mom...... Alexis got into trouble today..... for a punishment I took away her giant jawbreaker sucker that she got for Easter and loved so much. I told her that if she wanted it back she would have to earn it. Then I just put it in the pocket of my robe and forgot all about it. So later on in the day when Adison barfed all over me I didn't even think about it when I threw the robe in the washer....... with the sucker in the pocket.... and the phone...... dang it!!!!!
Alexis is heartbroken and now I need to call the Easter bunny and find out where he found those suckers...... but fist I might need a new phone.....

1 comment:

Nikki said...

Jill~ Its so nice to finally feel like I am not crazy! I have all these feelings EVERYday with Wesley. Since he is my first I feel like I am overboard on everything, I never know when to relax. I think you are doing an amazing job with your girls! I don't know how you moms with more than one do it. Keep your chin up!