Soon to be….

My parents have put their papers in for a mission…. I don't know how to feel about this yet.  I know how I am suppose to feel, and act so that is what I have done, but when it comes down to it… I think my own feelings are going to break out.  I am going to miss them soooooo much!  I really don't know if I can live without my parents for that long.  They are such amazing people, the best parents, and grandparents in the world, and I don't really know if I can share.  :)

But at the same time I feel like they are already on a mission.  I don't get to see them as much as I want.  They are traveling all over the place and gone a ton that way.  Just in the last month they have been to Wyoming camping, and Montana,  our house, Salt Lake for a few days, then to California to work on the Temple, and then to St. George for a week and a half, then at our house again for a day and one night, and then to New York, on a cruise to Canada, and then home for a few days and then back to Park City, then to Texas.  They don't ever sit still!

It is not only going to be so hard for me, my kids, siblings, and all the grandkids, but I know it is going to be hard for them to be away from all of us.  My dad was saying a little while ago that he was worried about my mom and didn't know if she could do it.  He said they went camping and planned on staying for three days and after the first night she wanted to pack up and go home because she missed the grandkids.  

It is going to be interesting to see where they are called and I know that it is going to bring so many blessings for them, and all of us, and it is setting such a great example for all the grandkids, but I am  already missing them just thinking about it.  I think they put in for a one year mission because my mom is going to be sealed to her family when my Grandpa goes through the temple in a year.  They really want to make sure they can make it home without any problems for that.   I love my parents so much and think they are the best two people in the whole world!  I guess it might be alright to share them with someone for a little while…… '
It is going to be so exciting to see where they are  called!  so to be continued….. 

worst mom ever…..

I swear there is something wrong with my brain right now.  I keep forgetting things or doing things wrong.  Like today I had to drive Elizabeth to a dr. apt. and instead of going to the hospital…. I drove to the gym.  It wasn't until I pulled in that I snapped out of it and thought what am I doing…. Well tonight was a little crazy.  I had to go and pick up Elizabeth from violin, pick up Alexis and two of her friends from school so they could go to our house and do homework, run to the elementary and pick up a pumpkin from Brytlee's teacher, and then take Elizabeth to soccer, drop of the girls, and then go to Brytlee's soccer game.   Right after Brytlee's game was over it was so cold and a huge gust of wind came in and so I ran to the car fast with Max and asked Ryan to go to the store to get formula…. and then we both left.  We had been home for about 10 minutes when I got a call from Pizza Villa and it was Elizabeth saying she was cold and scared and didn't know where we were.  My heart fell to the floor and I was so sick to my stomach.  I had forgotten that she was at practice because she was suppose to walk over to Brytlee's game after it was over….. and I kinda left in a hurry because of the wind.  She said she had started to walk home and then got scared so she went the other direction and called me.  She was upset and was in tears and that only made it worse.  I am so so so so sad that I did that and still can not believe that this happened.
And even better, it was parents week at the lunch room for the kids at school and we were suppose to go on Tuesday and so Ryan had said he was going to go…. well he forgot about that one also.  So Brytlee sat and waited for him to show up and waited and waited until her lunch was over and the lunch lady told her, "um, I think he forgot.  You need to back to class."  That broke my heart also, and made me feel like such a great parent.  I even had the feeling that I should send him a text to remind him.  Why didn't I listen to myself.
This parent thing is so hard sometimes and the guilt of our mistakes can just eat you up inside.  I have been feeling so sick and torn up about these things, and they are over it and happy as can be now.  No matter what I do I worry that I am not being the parent that I need to be for them.  I feel like I hit the jackpot with my kids.  I really don't know how on earth I ended up with such amazing, smart, beautiful, funny, wonderful kids.  I am so lucky to have them and wonder if I deserve them.  I am so thankful to be their mom, and really don't know how I could be so lucky.
Back to the first of my story about taking Elizabeth to the doctor.  We had a apt. today and I am feeling a little better about this one.  He was better about looking into it and wanting to get this figured out.  We did a cat-scan today and then we have plans to meet with a specialist for allergies in a couple of weeks.  They are going to run tests for food, and other allergies.  He thinks that it is most likely going to be not just one thing wrong, but a few mixed together that is causing the problem.  
Anyway, I hope this streak of bad parenting is over and my head can go back to normal.  I told Lizzy that I felt like I was the one that needed the cat scan today for how bad I am remembering things.  She just smiled and laughed.  I am so glad that they are so forgiving.  I love my kids with all my heart and soul and just want to be the best mom that I can for them.

working hard

I really should have gotten a picture before I cleaned the garage out… It had so much crap in it and was so dirty.  This was a big job!

Now that we have all the concrete done outside I am so excited to get all these little things done so we can eliminate or help the dirt not come into the house so much.  

We did a epoxy on the floor and it looks and feels amazing.    I am so excited to have all these projects done, and we are getting ready to do a few more.  We are going to do a acid stain on our sidewalk, and our back porch and a few other things.   Can't wait to see how they work out. 

baby doll

My funny little girl.  She is always making me smile.  While we have been working outside this little walker has been a great little toy for Max.   He is such a good little boy to just sit in it and walk around and smile at us.  He loves to watch all the girls run around and play around him.  

This is so funny.  He loves to carry things in his mouth.  He really loves to play with the ties that I got for church.  I had one at church and he just kept putting  it in his mouth like a gag rag.  

That face just melts me!

Max loves to sit on my lap and look at himself in the mirror while I am getting ready.  I love the faces he makes and the way he sucks his lip in.  

Adiosn was taking pictures of her dolls and I thought it was so cute.  

I went to logan with Max and he fell asleep.   I loved looking at him sleep with his cute little cheeps and those amazing lips and long eyelashes.  

Oh love his little nose!

Max moved out of the sink for a bath and now takes them in our big tub.  He loves it and has so much fun in it.  He gets so exceed if you walk into the bathroom and it is hard to not give him a bath if her really wants one.   He is so funny how he loves to put things in his mouth and just hold them there for a long time. 

Max Loves to swing.  It is so cute to push him high and hear him laugh and see his big smile.  He is great at hanging out and waiting for me to give him another push.   He is such a patient little guy.

Alexibeth

Wow the seventh grade is so much work… not just for my kid, but for the parents.  I am a little worn out already from all the things they expect them to do.  We have started a plant collection and it is a lot of work.  We have to take pictures of all sorts of tree's, moss, weeds, grass, and other plants while it is still warm and it isn't due for a while but when it is due everything is dead…. We have been working all summer on a bug collection that is more work than most kids do in college.  It has been so annoying because we caught most of them in the summer so they are all dried out and smell really gross and we didn't know that you have to have the legs all out and perfect….. so when we tried to do that all the legs kept falling off…. so so so frustrating. 

I told Alexis that the teacher had better give me a A for this…. Ha ha.   no joke though cause I had to put a lot of work into this thing with her.  I was a little mad when he graded her hard and took so many points away for dumb little things.  She had a bunch of extra credit for extra bugs and it was a dang good thing.  With all the extra credit she got 500 points out of 500.  (so we did get a A)  

you can tell she is learning so much from her plant collection .

Elizabeths cool little iguana Izzy.  She was going to take some pictures so she could send them to Mia and show it to her when she somehow forgot the put the lid on the cage and it got out and lost.  We were all so sad that it was lost and I was for sure we were going to find it dead somewhere.  

We were so lucky that Alexis did find it and it was alive and well.  It really is a cool lizard and it is fun to have a little pet.  Elizabeth really loves it and is so excited to have it.  It is suppose to grow up to 10 inches long so I think it will be so cool to see it grow.

little things

The pool put in a rope swing and the girls are loving it.  They played on it for a couple hours, and had a blast.  Now that is all that they want to do, and can not wait to back.

Adison is so cute with her hair.  She will tell me just how she wants it done, and most of the time she will say, "I want a Elsa braid."  "I want a Aunna braid, or a princess pony tail."  

We went to the lake and looked for bugs when adison saw this tree and said, "Mom, I need a picture like this"

Then she realized…. "umm mom, my foot is stuck"  It was so funny

Brytlee is my little tree climber.  She is so much like I was as a kid!

A selfie that Adison took of us.  She loves to take pictures with my phone.  I will have 60 or more pictures of the floor, and the toys, and other things that I have to go through every time she has my phone.  

I cleaned out the little shed and put some shelves up so we would have more room to store things.  As soon as Adison saw them she thought I was making some bunk beds and was so excited to come in and sleep on them.  She said the bottom one was hers and the top was Lexy's and Brytlee, and Elizabeth could share, and she could share with her friends Josy, Kinley, and Jane.  

This is the shelves all finished.   Adison is such a funny girl.  Just yesterday she said so many things that was that were so funny that I had to write them down before I forget them.   So the two of us were talking about Heavenly Father and I said.  "did you know that you have two daddies?  You have a daddy on earth for your body, and a daddy in heaven that is the father of your spirit.  it is your Heavenly Father."  Then a few minutes latter I said, "I have two daddy's also."  She was so excited and said, "ohhh you do"  Then I told her that Grandpa Merrill was my daddy on earth and that Heavenly father was also my daddy."  she was so excited, and said, "uhhhhh, you have the same dad as ME!"  It was so cute the way she said it and her expressions.
Max was taking a nap and so Adiosn was watching a movie.  She came to me and told me that she wanted lunch and that when it was ready to yell her name.  A few minutes latter she came and said is it ready?  I told her that it was and she said, "ok, yell for me ok, and then I will tell you to shhhhh be quiet"  and then went into the play room.  So I said soft.  "adison come and eat."  she ran to the stairs and said, "shhhhhh"   then Max made a sound and she said, "oh great! you woke him up!"  The way she she said it was so so dang cute.  She is such a spunky little girl and has so many expressions that are so cute.  She really could be in the movies with how dramatic she is.