baby is comig soon.....

So it just hit me that next month... I am going to have a new little baby. I am very excited to see this little girl, but I am so nervous also. I feel like I have heard so many bad things about other peoples babies that I am a little worried, and also because I painted our house while I was one month pregnant. I have had so many worries about... what if I did something bad to this baby, and she has a birth defect, or something very wrong with her health.
I know I worry about WAY too much and I wish I didn't but when it comes to my family it is hard not to. I love my family more than anything in the world and I just want them to be happy and have everything that they need and want....
I think our family is so ready to have a new little spirit in our home, and I know that I am so ready to be done being pregnant. I don't know if it is because I waited so long between kids or if it is because I am older, but this one has been the hardest pregnancy for me. I have not felt good, and just don't feel like myself at all. I was really sick at the beginning and throwing up a lot. I can't sleep very well at night, and then I am tired all day, and EVERYTHING gives me heartburn. I also have to apologize to my friends and family because I think I have had depression and I have been very anti-social for the past 8 months. I hope that after the baby comes that I can feel better in the head and get over that because I do love you and want to talk to you.
I also should apologize to my kids. I feel like I have been the worst mom ever to them while I have been pregnant. Not only because we lost our camera and I have not taken a single picture for like 5 months, but because I am so un-fun. My oldest girls are so sweet to me and ask me how I feel a lot and worry about me. They have been so understanding and I hear them say sometimes, "hey be nice to the pregnant lady". I am also very glad to be done building our house because it took so much time away from our kids that I always had so much guilt and they were sooo sick and tired of it.
I also feel so lucky to have such a wonderful husband who always know what to say, and what to do to make me feel better. I am sometimes in shock when he tells me I look pretty or anything nice because I look so huge and really out of shape. But I know that he still loves me no matter what I look like, and he always treats me like a princess.
I know that my girls are just as excited as I am to meet this new little baby, and I can't wait to see what she looks like, and feel the spirit she brings into our home. I can't believe we have waited this long to have another baby, and I hope that we still know what to do with a little one.